Kelly Rizzo thought losing husband Bob Saget would give her gray hair. Grief hasn't hindered her youthful spirit.

Kelly Rizzo doesn’t beat around the bush. “I feel like I’m in my resilience era,” she tells me just as we’re settling in to talk about life after 40 for Yahoo Life’s Unapologetically series.

Rizzo, who is turning 46 on May 19, says becoming a widow three years ago has given her “a different perspective” on aging. The Eat Travel Rock host’s world was flipped upside down in January 2022 when her husband, Full House actor Bob Saget, died unexpectedly at age 65. Since then, Rizzo has been rebuilding her life with her late husband’s mantra in mind.

“He’d always be like, ‘No, I’m done suffering. I’m not suffering anymore in my life,’” Rizzo recalls. “That mantra stuck in my head and I will always take it with me.”

For Saget, saying no to suffering meant taking advantage of the life and luxuries that he worked so hard for. “Whether it was a good meal or a nice upgraded hotel room, those are the things that he prioritized to make sure that he was at least feeling like he was doing something for his mental health,” she says.

It’s the little things that Rizzo now finds solace in too — like her beautiful home, “where I see the pretty sunrise or sunset and have a nice kitchen that I can cook a meal in,” or the community that she’s built to support not only herself, but others through their grieving and healing journeys.

Through it all, she’s maintained a “youthful spirit.” Ahead, she opens up about feeling like a kid, finding love again and changing her expectations about what it means to look 45.

You mentioned resilience. How else would you define your 40s so far?

So many people say that their 40s are when everything really starts for them, and things really start to fall into place. I think there is a sense of the 40s, at least for me, being this interesting dichotomy of like, Yeah, you’re in your 40s. You’ve got some wisdom, some maturity. But then on the other hand, I still feel like I’m in high school half the time. Like, I’m still only living in the ’90s and I’m still, you know, getting tattoos and only listening to ’90s music and dressing like a kid half the time. So part of me still carries that very, very youthful spirit.

Did you ever imagine that you’d feel that way at this age?

Twenty-five years ago, 45 looked very different than it does today. So now when I get here, it’s a very different experience. ... I was talking to my boyfriend [actor Breckin Meyer] about it last night because he’s 50 and I’m like, “You’re 50? That is not how 50-year-olds were when we were kids.” I mean, jeez, you know, people, even 20, 30 years ago, just seemed more matronly or more mature and didn’t have the youthful vibe about them that they do now.

Like the Golden Girls, who were only in their 50s and 60s but seemed a lot older than 50-year-olds today.

It’s the hair! There was an expectation that when you’re in your 50s, you dress a certain way and look a certain way. Now, there’s really no rules anymore.

When I look at 60 or 65, that still seems a bit old to me right now; when I get there, I’m sure times will change a little bit more. But my mom is in her 80s, looks like she’s in her 50s and acts like she’s in her 30s and has more energy than I do.

What impact has your mom had on your perception of aging?

She’s always been this picture of just youth and exuberance and beauty. Even in her 80s, she’s still stunning. ... So to me, I’m like, I could be in my 80s and still be kicking ass and looking good. I know that that’s possible.

So as long as you retain that sense of self and youthful spirit, and don’t let your age define you in that way, I think you can always be as young as you want to feel.

There’s that outdated idea that women were invisible beyond a certain age. Is that something that you ever think about when you consider your own career as a public figure?

I feel that the level of visibility that I’m at right now, or engaging with right now, makes so much more sense at this age. Social media didn’t exist when I was in my 20s. But, you know, if it did, I probably wouldn’t feel as equipped [to show up there like I do]. Especially with the things and the topics that I’m tackling and the people who I’m talking to in terms of trying to be a source of help and comfort to, I wouldn’t have had the life experience. Now I’m very comfortable with myself and very secure in just the persona that I’m putting forward.

I feel that that’s also part of what Bob gave me. He gave me so much confidence. And I just learned so much from him in so many ways. Not only how to be a better person, but how to live life, how to be confident.

That’s such a positive perspective. How would you say the experience of grief has impacted you or even aged you?

It’s very interesting because I think emotionally and mentally, it just gave me more strength. I mean, yeah, it can be exhausting at times and mentally exhausting, especially when you’re in the depths of it. After everything happened, there were so many times where I was just so beat down. But now looking back, I wouldn’t say it took away any life for me. It’s only given me more strength and ability going forward.

Grief aged me in a positive way in the fact that it just gave me more life experience, to where now I feel I can speak with — I don’t know if “authority” is the right word, but just experience to people who have gone through something similar. Versus when you’re younger and it’s like, Everything’s been perfect, everything’s amazing. What do you have to really offer people when you haven’t been through something hard? That’s how you grow and how you learn.

I will say, still not one gray hair [on my head]. After everything happened, I was like, surely this is what’s going to start the grays coming in, but I’ve been very fortunate. Not one yet.

No need for root touch-up yet! Is there anything that you are doing to maintain your physical appearance?

I get Botox; I’ve never had a filler or anything. I’ve never done anything surgically antiaging to my face. That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t, I just haven’t. But I’m starting to get laser facials once a month. I’ve done so many different types of skin care things and I don’t even want to necessarily promote one specific brand, but I’ll tell you, the thing that has been working for me the best lately is the entire Rhode skin care line.

So, you know, just a good skin care routine, the occasional laser facial. I have a trainer twice a week and I just try to eat pretty well, but I’m not perfect with it.

But nutrition is something you generally focus on as well?

I don’t have some weird, crazy fad diet or anything; I just try to eat pretty healthy. The only fad [that I participate in], which is not a fad because it’s how we should be living, is prioritizing protein. I know it’s very, very important, especially as you get older [in terms of] building muscle, which is something I’ve always done since I was very, very young. I know a lot of women were really nervous about building muscle because they’re like, “Oh, I don’t want to get bulky.” No, I’ve always focused on trying to be as strong as I possibly can be.

It’s everything. ... I learned that in my healing process, or just even my existing process, after Bob passed. If I didn’t have a good community around me and good people in my life, I can’t even imagine where I would have been. So I’ve learned through all of the people I’ve interacted with over the past three years that that is not the case for everybody. A lot of people just don’t have it. Maybe they don’t have family, or maybe they have family but not great friends, or they have good friends but they don’t really understand them. And so they just don’t have that community feeling.

It’s been a year since you hard-launched your relationship with Breckin — your first since Bob’s death. What’s it been like to date in your 40s?

I might not be the best case study because I got really, really lucky [in both relationships]. For instance, Bob and I met on an app. We went on like one date and then we were boyfriend/girlfriend literally after our first official date, and then we were together for six years. I didn’t date anybody until it was like 18 months [after his death], when I was finally like, OK, I think I might be ready. And then I met Breckin.

I was so nervous about dating in my 40s. I thought, Ugh, this is going to be awful ... but whatever’s supposed to happen will happen. And then I met Breckin and that was it. We didn’t say it after our first date, but [we both felt], All right, we don’t really need to talk to other people. So I just got very lucky, although I was nervous about it. I was worried that it was going to be really scary and daunting.

There has to be a level of intuition there that comes with being in your 40s.

That’s the thing. Yes, I got lucky with meeting [Breckin] at the right time, but yet we both have been through so much life and we both knew what we wanted. We both appreciated each other so much because we’re like, We’ve been out there, we know what’s out there and this is so great. So that’s a big difference of dating in your 40s.

[When you’re younger] you always think, Oh, there’s something better down the road. ... And then when you get to your 40s and you’ve been around the block and you understand life a bit better and you meet somebody really great, there’s absolutely no reason for feeling not content with where you’re at because you know what works for you and what makes you happy. ... (a) You just don’t have the energy for it. And (b) when you find someone wonderful, it’s like you take a beat and you take a breather and you just enjoy it and just be grateful for having a wonderful person in your life.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.