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Russian (RU) Mon, Sep 15, 2025, 5:45 AM 5 min read
At 35, Kelly is just starting to feel like she’s in control of her finances. Her family didn’t have a lot of money when she was growing up, so she had to pay for school herself through scholarships and student loans.
She’s been working since she graduated, and after paying off her student debt, she’s been able to save $100,000 spread across an emergency fund ($15,000), 401(k) ($30,000) and brokerage account ($55,000).
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Her parents, however, continue to struggle financially. They have little retirement savings and struggle with high-interest credit card debt.
Kelly’s parents recently asked her if they could borrow $10,000 to replace their damaged roof. They say they can’t wait any longer to redo the roof without the house sustaining damage.
Kelly doesn’t know what to do. She wants to help her parents out, and she has enough money to do it, but she’s worried that they won’t be able to pay her back. After all, they borrowed $5,000 from her brother six years ago and still haven’t repaid him. In that time, they took a beach resort vacation, instead of prioritizing paying her brother back.
When lending money to family members or friends, a common piece of advice is that you should only do it if you’re comfortable with never being paid back. Some experts advise that if you lend money to family, you not only go into it with the mindset that it won’t be repaid, but, importantly, you choose an amount of money that you are OK to part with.
A 2025 survey commissioned by JG Wentworth [1] found that half (50.3%) of people who borrowed money from friends or family and have yet to pay it back admitted concern about their ability to repay the loan in full. In addition, 46.6% of respondents said “serious arguments or conflicts” had resulted from loaning money to friends or family.
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This might be top of mind for Kelly, since she already has evidence that her parents don’t prioritize paying back loans to family members. The fact that they aren’t adept at saving and budgeting, and will spend on non-necessities like vacations over loan repayment or emergency savings, should also alarm her. Plus, if Kelly ends up loaning a large portion of her emergency fund, it leaves her vulnerable in case of an unexpected expense.
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