At 45, I'm on track for comfortable retirement — but I’m gripped with regret over the money I haven't saved

Rebecca Holland

Sun, Jul 13, 2025, 12:00 PM 7 min read

As they often say, money doesn’t buy happiness, but what happens when your money doesn’t bring you any feeling of contentment, even when you’re financially comfortable?

Take James, for example. James is 45 years old and describes himself as financially responsible. He has an emergency fund that would cover three months of his family’s expenses, $250K in his IRA and is on track to pay off his mortgage right before he hits retirement age. He and his wife also own their two cars outright and have no consumer debt.

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Yet in spite of this sound financial footing, James constantly feels stressed about his family’s money decisions in the past. James earns a decent salary, but he often wonders if it was a mistake for his wife to become a stay-at-home mother during their children’s early years. He also knows he could have contributed more to his retirement savings, but financial pressures while his children were young kept him from saving as much as he would have liked.

While James describes himself as “gripped with regret” over his past lifestyle choices, his worries are quite common. A study from Capital One, in partnership with The Decision Lab, found that 77% of Americans reported that their financial situation has them feeling anxious, while 68% worry about not having enough money to retire.

James has his worries, but many of his fellow Americans find themselves on much more precarious financial footing. For example, only 46% of Americans have an emergency fund that can cover three months’ worth of expenses.

Moreover, according to Ramsey Solutions, the average household carries $19,865 in credit card debt, and a further $36,832 in car loans. Meanwhile, only 65% of Americans own their homes, according to the Census Bureau’s quarterly report for Q1 2025.

Still, James worries that it’s too late for his wife to find a decent job with a comfortable salary, and that he will struggle to provide for his family in the future.

Read more: Americans are ‘revenge saving’ to survive — but millions only get a measly 1% on their savings. Here’s how to quickly earn 280% more on your cash

If you feel like financial anxiety is taking control of your life, there are several steps you can take to feel more grounded and confident with your finances.